A Summary of Nigel’s presentation at the BCBC Conference 2022

‘The mind is a powerful tool that can be positive and helpful, as well as negative and destructive.’

Nigel Owens MBE, the world’s most capped rugby union referee spoke openly about his struggles with mental health and coming to terms with his own sexuality.

Nigel was born and bred on a council estate in Mynyddcerrig in Carmarthenshire, Wales and left school at 16. He worked on farms as part of a youth training scheme, however his career path soon led him to the world of rugby, which turned into an extremely successful career as a referee until his retirement in December 2020. He officiated his first international game in 2005 between Ireland and Japan in Osaka and made his World Cup debut in 2007 in France. He has received many awards for his work on and off the pitch in rugby, equality, inclusiveness and mental health.

Nigel has struggled with his own demons in the past, and became extremely depressed during his late teens and early 20’s. He shared the story of attempted suicide and the impact that this had on his family. It is something he will regret for the rest of his life, and that he will never forgive himself for. ‘But when you are in a dark place you believe that the people you care about the most will be better off without you, and don’t think about it as being a selfish thing to do. The reality is that it’s the complete opposite.’

He strongly encouraged anyone struggling with depression to try and get to the route of their problem and why they are feeling so stressed. ‘Once you have accepted the issues that are affecting you, you can move on to the next stage, and try and talk to people, whether that be friends, family or professional help. It’s important to ask for help, it is not a sign of weakness. We need to create an environment where people feel that they can talk about their problems and that it’s actually a sign of great strength to open up.’

‘Mental health issues are so prevalent in agriculture, and it is time to turn the tide by sharing and understanding people’s problems. We are always keen to learn from the people who are doing well, but we should also be learning from those that don’t. We must remember to never underestimate the influence that we all have on others around us. Look out for our family, friends, neighbours and colleagues, and if you’ve not seen someone for a while give them a call and check they are okay.’

For Nigel accepting himself and his sexuality was the biggest challenge of his life. He was referee of the World Cup between Australia and New Zealand in 2015, the biggest game in world rugby which happens once every four years and the pressure of this was huge for him. But Nigel explained that that challenge was nothing compared to accepting who he truly was.

Since retiring from refereeing, Nigel has been able to fulfil his dream of becoming a farmer. He now runs 60- head of pedigree Hereford cattle, called The Mairwen Herd, after his late mother. In 2020 Nigel was elected President of the National Federation of Young Farmers Clubs.

He urged everyone to remember, that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of great strength.

If you are struggling or know someone who needs help the following organisations can provide support:

• Farming Community Network offers practical and pastoral support to those in the farming community both in-person via its network of regional volunteers and its national helpline and ehelpline. For more information visit https://fcn.org.uk
• The RABI recently partnered with Kooth to offer emotional support and online counselling to those in the farming community. Visit https://explore.kooth.com/rabi/

Nigel’s talk was kindly sponsored by CRV.